Hello!!!!! I know its been a hell of a long time. I am naughty, I know. But are you really going to reprimand me?
Things have been crazy here lately, there is also the fact that where I am currently living, I cannot get internet….well I can but its satelite and seriously expensive. It is so weird not having internet, not being able to go online when I want to, its a little annoying but also somewhat freeing! I have found that I can live without internet. Though I have not had much of a choice. Though I have a data connection on my phone and am geek enough to have it set up as a wi-fi hotspot and can tether my phone to my laptop, the only time I can do that is when I have a data connection on my phone. The only way you can have a decent data connection is by having phone reception….and guess what I don’t have? LOL for me to have a phone conversation at home I need to stand by the window, with the phone on speaker and do something akin to a rain dance…okay so I don’t have to do the rain dance but I may as well have to. Thing is even though I have to do this to take or make a phonecall the reception seems to bounce around the house. So that one minute its fine and the next it doesn’t exist. Save to say it is a HUGE pain in the ass for trying to tether or even have a data connection on the phone and to be honest while I could write the blog from my phone it takes to long and predictive text makes it yet another pain in the ass.
And why, you ask would someone allow themselves to move somewhere that is almost a communication black hole….Well the simple answer is in fact love. I met someone. This someone is Irish which means I am gone back to my own nationality, no offense anyone but after going out with a German for four years this is something huge for me. And it makes me wonder why on earth I pulled away from Irish guys in the first place. Anyway, living on the farm, left me little time or opportunity to meet someone and my best friend Honza, pissed me off one day. I was being quiet and just thinking about stuff, how much I didn’t want to get stuck in CH, and how lonely I actually was and he said that it really annoys him when I close myself off from him. I told him it annoys me when he does the same thing and he claimed that when I said things like that he felt as though I had him on a leash. I could only sit there and stare at him open mouthed, as he ranted at me that if I wanted to change my circumstances I should just do it, I should take dance lessons or a creative writing class or sign up to a dating website…All of which are valid suggestions and things we had talked about doing previously, but might I add, things he promised he would do with me as I am not great at stepping out of my comfort zone. Granted he couldn’t do the dating website with me but he promised he would help me take some nice pictures for a dating profile. Anyway while he was railing at me about all this all I could think was “You are such a hypocrite” at least when I am hurting I don’t shut the world out completely and cut all my friends and family off as he does. So as I said he pissed me off so I decided I would do it without his help and so I signed up to a dating website. It was something that scared me stupid but I was so pissed off that it never even once occured to me not to do it. So I found an okay picture of myself and HEY PRESTO I was on a singles site. Let me tell you at 30 years of age, a female and not too long having your life as you know it crumble down around your ears it is a scary as hell prospect to put yourself out there like that. If anyone is wondering the site was; http://www.connectingingles.com (It is a global website but you can narrow down your critera to your area) Anyway I had a few emails come in and started talkin to some people and decided to meet this one particular guy. So for the first time in my life, I had my first ever, first date. :) It did not go well, but still I managed to get to 30 without ever going on a first date….that is slightly pathetic. Anyway I decided not to let that stop me, then I met him online.
On my profile I specified I wanted a guy between 30 and 37, and one evening I got an email from a guy, Darren, saying that he was one year out but thought he would try for contact anyway. I looked at his profile saw he was 38 and almost didn’t reply but in the end decided fuck it why not. So I emailed him back. Within days we had sent each other our numbers and kept in almost constant contact. We met and it felt as if we had known each other years. There was no pretense at all, things just were, and they were easy, so we agreed to keep seeing each other and we both cancelled our profiles on the dating site. Within weeks we had told each other we loved each other, and he wanted me to move in with him. A little gun shy I asked him to wait a few months to see how we got on with each other. Well we continued to get on well and it continued being easy and I fell more and more in love with him. So I have moved in with him. Given that he had already bought his own house there was no real deciding on where we would live. And that is the reason I live in a communication black hole. The simplest, yet most complex motivation, love. Finally I have a good guy and I think after everything I have been through I deserve it.
In other news, because I have not yet got my computer/study area setup (we are re-decorating) I have not done so much writing on my book. Its a little hard to do it when you have no space to work in peace, especially witht he TV on so that has been put on hold until the decorating is all done. Which will be hopefully at some point this week.
My father is doing well by all accounts, not that he is speaking much to me, but from what I have heard from my brother, he is still not drinking which means he is off the alcohol almost 10 months. I am delighted and so proud of him.
There really is not much else to add. I miss you all and hope everything in your lives is going well. And remember two things, the first everything happens for a reason and the second, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
All my love,
Keep happy and keep writing,